Modeling Christ in your Closest Relationships

How to Reclaim your House for the Name of Christ!
By Dr. Spencer R. Fusselman

Dressing for the Living Room: Wearing Christ in Your Closest Relationships
When we think about spiritual transformation, we often picture dramatic moments at a church altar or profound revelations during a quiet time. But Pastor Steve makes a compelling point: God is a God of relationships, and He isn’t looking for mere religion or rituals. If we truly believe in the preeminence of Christ, that belief must be demonstrated by the power of the Holy Spirit in the most practical, gritty areas of our lives. It must change our marriages, our family dynamics, and our workplaces.

In Colossians 3, Paul shows us that spiritual maturity operates much like an upside-down pyramid. Pastor Steve notes that as we drill down into the example of Christ, everything culminates at the very foundation: love. Because the foundation of the Godhead is love, everything a child of God does must be driven by that same love. Here is what it looks like to put on the love of Christ when we interact with our spouses, our children, and our bosses.

Put On Love and Submission in Marriage

The first institution God ever established was marriage, which is exactly why Satan has spent millennia trying to destroy it. The breakdown of the home is a tragic reality of our culture and a sign of the end times, characterized by people who are lovers of themselves, unforgiving, and brutal. But God’s Word provides the cure.

Paul begins by addressing wives, instructing them to submit to their husbands. In our modern context, "submission" has been treated as a bad word equated with blind obedience or inferiority. But the Greek word used here is hupotasso, which means to subordinate in rank and show respect. It is not a command to obey unbiblical or evil practices. Pastor Steve beautifully compares this to a sergeant and a private in the military: they are entirely equal in value and importance, but they hold different ranks to maintain order. In fact, women are often smarter and more equipped in many areas. Because of this, husbands must let go of their egos and listen to their wives, valuing their intuition as a gift from the Holy Spirit meant to keep men from making foolish decisions.

Husbands are given a command that is equally demanding: love your wives just as Christ loved the church. We are called to be godly, loving leaders, not authoritarian dictators. In the Roman and Jewish cultures of Paul’s day, women were often viewed as mere possessions existing solely for the husband's benefit, leading men to treat them harshly. Paul shatters this cultural norm. Because of our sinful tendency to use physical strength or a loud voice to intimidate, we are sternly warned not to be bitter or harsh. A thriving marriage requires constant repentance and forgiveness; without it, the rot of bitterness sets in.

Put On Obedience and Encouragement in Parenting

A godly marriage lays the foundation for a godly home, which radically benefits the children. Children are called to obey their parents "in all things"—which means obeying even when the rules are disagreeable, as long as they are not illegal or sinful. But this obedience is ultimately taught by example. Parents must show their children that obedience is pleasing to the Lord by modeling their own submission to God.

Fathers, and parents in general, are given a sobering warning: do not provoke your children to wrath. We provoke our kids when we say one thing and do another, when we swing wildly from permissiveness to legalism, when we show favoritism, or when we have terrifying outbursts of anger. Instead of using our authority to frustrate them, we are to be active encouragers. This means making the time to patiently listen to them as they navigate a world that is deeply hostile to Christ. And there is no statute of limitations on this calling; whether your children are toddlers or adults, they desperately need the example of godly parents.

Put On Sincerity and Fairness at Work

Finally, Paul addresses the workplace. Speaking to bondservants, he urges them to serve with sincerity and a reverence for God. Our work is not to be done merely to please the eyes of men or to avoid getting in trouble. We are to work heartily—with "zest" and "enthusiastic and vigorous enjoyment"—because we are ultimately serving the Lord Jesus. When we serve Christ in our daily tasks, we bless our earthly bosses, but more importantly, we secure an eternal reward from our Heavenly Master.

Paul also addresses the masters. While the Gospel did not immediately dismantle the Roman institution of slavery, it fundamentally broke apart its socioeconomic structure from the inside out. Masters were commanded to treat their servants fairly and justly, recognizing that in Christ, the free man and the slave are entirely equal.

Whether you are a husband, a wife, a parent, a child, an employee, or a boss, the question remains the same: Are you wearing the character of Christ? When we let the love of God dictate our earthly ranks and roles, we bring the light of heaven right into our living rooms.

1. Yield Your Ego
If you are a husband, actively seek your wife's counsel this week before making a major decision. Acknowledge that her intuition is a gift from the Holy Spirit, and practice listening without getting defensive.

2. Audit Your Parenting for Provocation
Take an honest look at your parenting style. Are you provoking your children through inconsistency, unkept promises, or angry outbursts? Apologize to your children for specific times you have frustrated them unfairly, and commit to being a consistent encourager.

3. Kill Bitterness with Quick Forgiveness
Bitterness destroys marriages and homes. If you are holding onto a harsh word or an offense from your spouse or family member, choose to forgive them today. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.

4. Work with Gusto
Identify one mundane or frustrating task at your job. Instead of complaining about it, tackle it with "zest and enthusiastic enjoyment" as an act of worship to the Lord, knowing that your true reward comes from Him, not your earthly boss.

5. Initiate Reconciliation
Pastor Steve challenged us to seek reconciliation. Whether you are an adult child estranged from a parent, or a parent disconnected from your child, take the first step this week to reach out, apologize, and seek peace.